Radio QGLLU - Ellie Perez: A Voice for LGBTQ Advocacy

As we peel back the layers of Ellie Perez's remarkable life, her voice carries the warmth and wisdom that only come from a true champion of the LGBTQ community. From her modest beginnings in Pacoima to steering the ship at the LGBTQ Center in Long Beach,
Ellie Perez's tale weaves through the struggles of identity within a traditional religious family, to the liberating embrace of her role as a beacon for Latinx LGBTQ advocacy. Her riveting narrative offers a rare glimpse into the transformative journey of self-discovery, punctuated by her son's transition and her own evolution from managing an auto parts store to inspiring change within the LA Unified School District.

In this heart-to-heart, you'll feel the pulse of a community as Ellie Perez recounts the creation of the Safe Spaces Alliance and the palpable excitement for the upcoming Trans Day of Visibility event. Every word serves as a reminder of the power of community, the importance of safe havens, and the unyielding spirit of activism. Through Eli's leadership, we're invited to celebrate the victories of inclusion and the ongoing fight for a world where everyone can show their true colors without fear. Join us and bear witness to a story that doesn't just speak to the LGBTQ community but resonates with anyone who believes in the triumph of love and acceptance over adversity.

Transcript

Rita Gonzales: 0:04

Welcome to the Out Agenda. Coming to an archivekpfkorg, I'm Rita Gonzalez. On this month's segment of Radio Q Glue, eduardo Archileta and myself will be speaking with Eli Perez, who is the Interim Director at the LGBTQ Center in Long Beach. Welcome to the Radio Q Glue podcast, a show that takes a deep dive in what the queer, gay and lesbian-Latin community is talking about. We'll explore the vibrant and diverse conversations that matter to our community. Be ready for engaged discussions, insightful interviews and a celebration of the voices shaping our community. I'm Rita Gonzalez. In today's episode we're talking to Eli Perez. She is the Interim Executive Director at the LGBTQ Center in Long Beach. She has an extensive resume and many accomplishments, so we're going to be talking to her right now. Eli Perez, you have such an extensive background that it would probably take two hours to go through it. So Eduardo and I just want to welcome to the Radio Q Glue. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who is Eli?

Ellie Perez: 1:30

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this opportunity and I'm just really excited to be able to share my story, but it really is just a privilege and an honor to be able to talk to both of you. Well, my name is Eli Perez. I am the Interim Executive Director of the LGBTQ Center Long Beach, and I am also the co-founder of the Safe Spaces Alliance.

Ellie Perez: 1:53

My story begins back in Pacoima, which is in the San Fernando Valley. I am a child of two Mexican immigrants, and they came to this country, of course, like everyone else, seeking a better life for themselves and creating a family. My parents worked really hard to make sure that we had everything that we needed, always sacrificing themselves so that we had a better opportunity. Going through the system in school was quite a situation for my mom because, although we had a school ride across the street, she wanted us to be more integrated with other folks and have more diversity. It was really important to her, but also for us, to have the opportunities the other kids had in the more fluent neighborhoods of Granada Hills and Northridge.

Ellie Perez: 2:42

Early on, I got involved with the church. At 16 years old, I became a born-again Christian and I enjoyed it because it gave me, the community that I needed the support at that time. As any young teenager with plenty of time and no real goals, you need something to fill that space or you get yourself in a little bit of trouble. For me, having that experience was really great. I learned a lot of good things. The only thing that I can say from that experience really is that I wasn't allowed or it was not permitted it's definitely frowned upon to be a lesbian, knowing early on, very young age, that there was something different about me. I just buried it and hit it and just went along with what the status quo was. I got married at 18, part of the church, had my son at 21 and eventually came out at 26, when I started to get to know more people than really just come to terms with. Am I going to deal with this or not? Because praying it away has not helped.

Ellie Perez: 3:49

With that being said, I made the determination to seek out what this was, what it is to be a lesbian or what it is to maybe potentially date a woman. I had to do it. I had to discover what that really was, that was inside of me, that was trying to get out. So I made the decision. I moved on and I spent time living on my own, of course, with my child. I went through the process of getting divorced and co-parenting with my ex-husband, who has been supportive.

Ellie Perez: 4:24

So that was my experience growing up and coming out, and, early on, because I knew I needed the support of other folks that looked like me, spoke the same language as me, were potentially probably have the same experience being, you know, latina, I was able to find really amazing folks through the work that Latina Quality Alliance was starting to create. So being part of them allowed me to eventually grow into a role, to become one of the board members, and from there my life just in activism, really took off. I started to see the need for advocating for others because in my home base I didn't get any support. As you can imagine. I'm in the church, I'm coming out, I'm getting divorced. There were so many layers that my family just didn't know how to navigate. They just didn't have the know-how. Like what is this? And, of course, there's a shame of it all right, like just the demonization of who we are as people. So, with that being said, being part of Latina Quality Alliance really gave me that support. It gave me the community. It really helped to build me up as a person and really step into accepting my own self, because a lot of the work is internal and when you don't work on your own self and your own traumas, then you tend to show it out and behave in a way that's not conducive to building a community where people are accepted and embraced for who they are and their differences. But yeah, love, love the work that I was able to do with the Latina Quality Alliance.

Ellie Perez: 5:55

From there I moved into and meanwhile, part of that, I was manager at AutoZone for a couple of years. So I started as a manager at AutoZone. Actually, it was called Chief Auto Parts back then. I'm not sure if y'all remember that I do, but it was Chief Auto Parts, yeah, and I started there at 16 years of age and at first they didn't want to give me the job because, of course, I was at church still. So I show up in my dress like it's normal to me, right? I show up in a dress and they're just kind of like you want to work at an Auto Parts? This is for my interview. And I'm like, yeah, well, do you have any experience? I'm like, yeah, you know, I was with my dad. I was a tomboy so my dad taught me a lot about cars. You know I was the only one really interested, so he would teach me like, oh, you know the car bird, it does this, and when you hear this noise it means this. So I was able to show that experience in my interview. When they got past my dress and they offered me the job and I loved it.

Ellie Perez: 6:48

It was really great to work in a place that one allowed me to grow but also gave me the tools to learn more about Auto Parts, and moving into the area of becoming an assistant manager at 18 really helped to empower me as a woman, latina and in Auto Parts. That's probably more seen now than back in the day. But I would have situations when, you know, men would come in and be like, oh, is Michael here? And I'm like no, I'm here, I can help you. I don't know if you're going to know about this alternator, and it's like let me see that alternator, so let me test it for you and tell you what's going on with that.

Ellie Perez: 7:25

And you know, just having those conversations and always having to really stand up for myself and my knowledge and what I could bring to the table started very early on for me, and one of the areas I was able to thrive in was in that type of leadership role where it was just kind of like, hey, no, like you know, give me an opportunity to let me know, give me an opportunity to let me show you what I know. So I was there for many years and I loved it. I ended up eventually being promoted to a manager. So I got promoted as a manager when I was 21 years old, and one of the things that they shared with me is, like we were, we wanted to promote you earlier, but you weren't 21 yet, so we had to wait. So when I turned 21 years old, after they had sent me to all the classes, they gave me the keys to my first store and it was amazing. It allowed me to really thrive and to bring folks on and give them opportunities, because now I was the one in charge and that allowed me to open the doors for other women and other you know, young folk that maybe didn't have experience, but I knew we could teach them. So for me, that's always important and it's why I do the work that I do is one giving people opportunities, advocating for those that don't have a voice, but also giving them the tools that they need to thrive, which is incredibly important in any work that you do and advocacy work or activism.

Ellie Perez: 8:43

So after my stint there at AutoZone, when I returned from my leave of absence after having my child, I came to find out that I no longer was in a management position. They had demoted me to a parts manager, and that's part of the reason why eventually I left, because I didn't understand why that was. I didn't know certain politics, in certain ways that women were treated. But I learned real quick when I lost my management position and from there I took a break and decided to spend some time with my son raising him. And after three months of doing that because I've been working since I was 12 years old, I mean, I started selling socks at the swap meet in San Fernando, so I needed to work. I was like this is great, I love being a mom, but is this it Like? Is this where I'm going to be? I'm like no, I don't think so.

Ellie Perez: 9:36

So then I applied for a job at a non-public school in special education and I was going for the job of the manager of their on-store Baskin Robbins because I've done management. So when I applied, they're like well, you don't really have a lot of you know, knowledge in special education. We're happy to teach you, but we're going to have to wait on this other part of the management part. I'm like that's okay, I just need a job. So when I started working and I was still part of the church during that time I was only, I was 22.

Ellie Perez: 10:09

I was able to work there and I loved it. I loved working with the kids. I was able to sit in the IEP meeting to speak with the parents. This is where your child needs this and this, and then also we're translating for them. And that's where I started to notice more of the system really wants you to hurry up and just sign the documentation so that you get the needs or whatever it is. But a lot of the parents weren't understanding because of the language barrier. And I would step in and say hold on, dr X, y and Z, can you please allow me to translate this for the parent before we have them sign, because they're not understanding. And I just didn't find it to be. I always had this thing like not on my watch, like if I know about something. I'm not going to allow that to happen. So we moved on to being able to allow that to happen. So it was great and I just started to notice more of that happening around me.

Ellie Perez: 10:59

As I started to grow and really getting outside of the church culture, I started to notice more and more of that. So eventually, when I and then that was the job that I had before I came out, so it's a little convoluted, but so when I came out, that job actually allowed me to really, because I started to meet other people that were gay and I thought, okay, well, they seem fine and no one's lifting an eyebrow at them and they're in a safe environment. And then I thought, okay, I can't, I can't do this anymore, I'm going to, I'm going to come out. This is a safe environment. And when I did it, I had the support as well, and that's when I was able to get into Latin equality alliance and continue to find people that look like me. So in that search, finding them was great.

Ellie Perez: 11:46

I had a background, you know, in management, with the auto parts store and then moving into working at this non-public school. Eventually they gave me the job of being the manager of the Baskin Robbins, which was awesome, because being the manager of Baskin Robbins allowed me to work directly with other youth and help them how to navigate having a job, how to respond to somebody you know, how to take orders and fill them, and also to dealing with demanding customers and and all of that things that I learned at AutoZone. But because I had been there for so long over six years I was able to then move over and apply it at LA Unified, which allowed me and really opened up the doors further for me. I was able to get insurance, take care of myself and my son, and during that time that I was working at LA Unified, I was still very much involved with Latino Qualcomm Alliance and then eventually came on when we had to go and protest for marriage equality, which was really just something that I didn't understand. How do you, can you say? Can you say, notice someone? There were so many things that didn't know.

Ellie Perez: 12:52

Again, I was stuck in the church for so long I didn't realize how the world actually operated. So once I started to learn more, I started to do more. So we took to the streets with friends and we were down in West Hollywood and really just champion the rights, for equal marriage rights. So and I loved it. And through that, all my son would ask you know, can I come? You know, can I come along, mom? And I'm like I don't know, matel, you're too little. He's like no, I can hold up a sign, there's other kids there, let me come. But okay. So then I started to bring him along and that really, for him, opened his eyes up further. So when I did that work with the Latino Quality Alliance and being part of LA Unified, as in that, this time my son was still little.

Ellie Perez: 13:38

So fast forward to my son being 16. He comes to me and he tells me and my wife, now he's like, yeah, you know, I want to share with y'all. And I thought he was going to say, oh, you know, I'm a lesbian. We're like, oh, we already know that. But now he's like I'm trans. And with that being said, it's like okay, how can I help my child? Of course, for me it was like not understanding what that all meant. Of course, as a parent, you want to protect your child and, with that being said, eventually I was able to take him to therapy. So I took him to a session of therapy. He was in there about probably 10 minutes and I just picked any therapist because I didn't know. What I know now is that you just can't do that, and that further solidified my importance to advocate for safe spaces.

Ellie Perez: 14:27

So my son goes in there.

Ellie Perez: 14:28

He's having this session.

Ellie Perez: 14:29

He comes out 10 minutes later. I paid for an hour. I'm like what's going on? He's like oh, we got to go, I'll tell you in the car. And I'm like why don't you just tell me now? Because the therapist is standing there. He's like no, mom. He's like I'll tell you in the car. I'm like okay, I thanked her, left and got in the car. Okay, my dad. So what happened? He's like I'll just tell you when we get home. I'm like nah, just tell me now. We're in the car, we're still here, you know. He's like nah, I'm gonna tell you when we get home.

Ellie Perez: 14:54

So we get home and my son shares with me what was said to him, which was heartbreaking and enraging because basically told you're gonna regret your decision and other terrible things that were said to my son, and he was smart enough not to tell me in front of that person because he knows his mom. It would have not been a good thing for that person. But I never forgot that experience. It took me about nine months to really find a good therapist for my son and I said that shouldn't be the case, this shouldn't be, that we're treated a certain way and we're just gonna stand for it.

Ellie Perez: 15:30

So I just had that in the back of my mind and I'm just like there's something needs to change. I need to do more than just, you know, be part of a board. I need to do more. What else can I do? So when my son went off to college, he was 17,. He goes off to college and we by then were able to find him what he needed for him to transition. And during that time, when he was going off to college, Angela and I made the decision we're gonna move to Long Beach. And we did, and it's been the best decision I've ever made ever.

Rita Gonzales: 15:56

I was gonna ask you how did you get to Long Beach?

Ellie Perez: 16:00

One of the best decisions was that it was like it's time, Matteo is off to college, this is our time for us. So we moved to Long Beach and my wife is a web developer, licensed drone pilot, photographer. She's amazing, Just builds websites, does it all. And she was working for Michelle Wynhousen, who is the founder of Visit Gay Long Beach. So, being part of my wife working with them, she asked they were looking for a social media person and because I had background and some of the things I was doing, they're like, yeah, would you like to come on board and be the social media manager? And I'm like that sounds awesome, yes. So then, because Visit Gay Long Beach is based tourism, I decided that we needed to find all the places that were friendly and really promote them in a way by doing photos that are also a photographer. So we were well underway building up the website and showing the places gay-friendly are .

Ellie Perez: 16:58

And then, in May of 2021, I believe, our lifeguard rainbow tower here on Long Beach was burned down.

Ellie Perez: 17:06

Somebody torched it and because, yeah, it was just like what is going on in this city, we moved here because it's supposed to be LGBTQ friendly, it's supposed to be all these things right. So when that happened, that really sent a very loud and just the horrible message to the community. And because we are Visit Gay Long Beach, we are based on tourism, we're showcasing places that are friendly my wife and I took a step back and said, OK, we really need to identify the places that are safe spaces for our community. And also, remembering what happened to my son and his experience, and even up to that time now my son while he was doing well because I was able to help navigate I'm like we really need to take this to another level. If we're going to be doing this work of showcasing places that are gay friendly, let's really be intentional. So my wife created the "you Are Welcome here sticker. That's the Safe Spaces Alliance work that we do and we run with it. that's really cool.

Ellie Perez: 18:09

It was meant to really symbolize where our community can go. Where can you have services? Where are you safe, welcome and valued? So the Safe Spaces Alliance is about that. It's about showcasing the places where our community is safe, welcome and valued. In a sense, two messages. One, it says hey, we're not going to take to the streets and be anti anything. No, this is about being a positive reflection on our allies, but also on our LGBTQ owners, organizations, teachers, because when we started this project, it was meant to identify the businesses because it was part of Visigay Long Beach, right.

Ellie Perez: 18:49

But we want, I wanted to take it a step further, knowing that I was still in the school system, knowing that LA Unified had created this awesome badges for their staff to wear and be able to say hey, if there's a student on campus that needs to have, you know, a conversation with someone who's LGBTQ or an ally, you know, wear the badges. And I probably wore mine all the time. I was like, hey, I'm proud of who I am and I don't want the kids feeling like I fell when I was growing up, which was being excluded or discriminated against. So I always wore mine. But, with that being said, I knew that it wasn't just going to be for businesses and needed to expand. So when we, you know, set out to communicate with the Long Beach City Council because I didn't want this just to be like a flash in the pan, like no, this used to be intentional. This city is claiming to be the most LGBTQ inclusive. People talk about it, say it, highlight it. Let's be intentional about it. We'll have the businesses sign up, it'll be backed by the city, it will be a citywide initiative and we had all these plans to do that.

Ellie Perez: 19:51

And, with that being said, I reached out to the center, which I now happen to be the interim executive director of, and we got their support. I also reached out to the LBGLCC, who is the LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce here in Long Beach, and, with their former president and the three of us, we wrote a letter to the city council and asked to have some time to show and talk about the Safe Spaces Alliance and the you Are Welcome here sticker and the intention behind it. So we did that and previously we actually just went ahead and launched it anyway, because in my head, you know just being grass with something like I'm going to wait for somebody to sanction this. We're doing it and we ran with it prior to our meeting and we got about 100 folks sign up and I was like this is really great. And with that came teachers and organizations, we got folks from outside of California and then we got folks from outside of the country. We got somebody from Jamaica, you know, the Netherlands, uk, like people started signing up for it and we just we just kept doing it. So we had that to show to the city and we got our day to meet with them and they unanimously approved it and gave us their seal and it was just awesome to have that, because now we can confidently continue to move forward with the project and have folks do it. So kicked off that campaign with a video. We reached out to certain organizations that we know were key, like Hamburger Marys of Long Beach with Jules, who does amazing work for our community, phenomenal and one of our most staunch supporters. She's incredible. I can't say enough about Jules. We had other businesses want to participate in the video montage that we presented and and it just continues to to grow and take off and and I love it I think that it's important to uplift our allies as well as our LGBTQ community, and allies to me have a really special place in my heart because these folks don't need to do that work.

Ellie Perez: 21:50

They live a life of privilege and they are not LGBTQ. Our issues don't necessarily affect them, other than, of course, you know empathy and compassion side of it. Or if they have family members, right, but it takes a lot for one to be LGBTQ and stand up for your rights. But when an ally steps in and says, hey, not on my watch, this is not going to happen. I'm not going to allow for that. You know, I'm adding my voice to equity and equality of these folks and this protected class. It's a different message. So I welcome that and I welcome our allies. And we just had somebody a couple of months ago who was killed in Arrowhead, you know, for being an ally, for flying the flag. So we have to embrace our allies is it's? It's crucial, it's important. For me, this movement of equity and equality and inclusion and belonging really is a work we have to all do. It's not just for the LGBTQ folks.

Ellie Perez: 22:46

But yeah, I am just feel good about the work that I do. Yes, it's hard, it's emotionally challenging. Of course there will be opposition because we're human beings, but at the end of the day, I just keep doing what I know is right for me. I keep doing what shows to happen, impact and help to change the narrative right, and I'll do it. My son has grown, he's 25. He's thriving, he's doing great, and that's just a testament to what happens when you support someone. What happens when you embrace and help and advocate like that to me is huge and I just you know I'm proud of the work that I do and I always say, like I have time, why not? What else am I doing with my life? This is it for me. I love it and even if it's hard and challenging, I'm about it because I'm just like bring it on, what's next?

Rita Gonzales: 23:42

When you found your purpose. I mean, you've been a since like you grew up. You just came out running. I did.

Eduardo Archuleta: 23:50

Yeah, you weren't even hopping.

Rita Gonzales: 23:51

You were just running.

Eduardo Archuleta: 23:53

No, that's fantastic. You've done some really great stuff. I'm impressed by everything that I've heard. Kind of grew up in Long Beach and came out in Long Beach, so it's really nice to hear that there's all these really great things happening there. And the great thing is that you're the interim director at the center and what I'd like to follow up with is so. So what's going on at the center now?

Ellie Perez: 24:22

Well, we have all this great stuff going on.

Ellie Perez: 24:26

Yeah, I'm excited to be here. It really is an honor and a privilege to be able to serve my community at this capacity. I'm really my goal while I am here is to continue to empower the team, because this work doesn't get done without the team. First and foremost, it's the team and when I stepped on board, I was very adamant about that. I'm like, hey, yes, I'm the interim executive director, but I am part of this team and while I know some things, I don't know everything, and that's the fact.

Ellie Perez: 24:54

Anywhere you go and I have experts in the house, you know, I have a director of health, I have a director of mental health, I have a director of youth and family services. I mean I have all these teammates are awesome director of legal and all these folks have an expertise and together, if you're able to really empower them to do the work, it's going to flow. But first and foremost, you've got to take care of your team. They're the ones that are also out there doing the work. So for me, one was establishing let's get this team feeling good about the work that they're doing. Let's reiterate what the mission is. So I came in and I was able to do that and I'm excited that the team that we have is really really dedicated to this work, and it's amazing. I'm so grateful for them.

Eduardo Archuleta: 25:41

Well, I wish you the best of luck with that.

Rita Gonzales: 25:43

Thank you. And I think, in any capacity that you do, you're going to do great things and it's very important to be a team player.

Eduardo Archuleta: 25:52

You can't do it alone, absolutely.

Ellie Perez: 25:54

No, you can't. I mean anyone in any position of leadership.

Ellie Perez: 25:58

it's your team, it really is and having that attitude really changes what happens in the house right Like it matters and just knowing that. And it took many years for me to really come, because I'm pretty much been just a leader just in my own, having to take care of myself and just be very independent. So I've had to learn, and part of that was being working at the auto parts store because I was very spunky, I was just kind of like, very matter of fact, and just having those folks to help me navigate and understand certain ways was great and that's kind of like what has helped me to. Okay, you need a team, you can't just go at it alone. But it's been many, many folks that have helped me to get to where I'm at, and both of you have laid the groundwork yourselves. So if I'm able to do what I do, it's because of the folks that have come before me. Without that I wouldn't be able to have come out when I did and have that support system. That's really important.

Rita Gonzales: 26:59

Well, I hope to meet you in person. Are you going to be at the Long Beach Pride?

Ellie Perez: 27:04

I am going to be at Long Beach Pride. I'm actually working really closely with Tanya Martin, who is the new president there, and she's doing phenomenal work, has great ideas coming. Yeah, I'm very deeply involved here in the city of Long Beach. All things LGBTQ, I'm about it. We are going to have our trans stay of visibility coming on on March 30th. That's going to be here in Long Beach at Bixby Park. It's going to be from four to eight. So we are currently organizing that with other community members and we're really excited to be kicking that off.

Eduardo Archuleta: 27:35

Okay, so if you want to go. Can you repeat that again for people that want to go to this event?

Ellie Perez: 27:41

Yeah, so it's going to be. Our trans day of visibility is March 30th and it's from four to eight PM in Long Beach at Bixby Park, and we'll have more information coming out on our social media. You can follow us at centerLB.

Rita Gonzales: 27:54

Thank you so much for joining us here at RadioQ. It's been a pleasure hearing about you and I think I'm so inspired. Because it's been an honor doing such a good job that you're doing.

Eduardo Archuleta: 28:04

It's been really great hearing you tell your story, Allie, and thank you for coming on. We greatly appreciate it and I think our listeners will as well that there's these great things happening not just with you and your life and your family, but also in the city of Long Beach, that there are places that they can spot these signs and know that they're welcome.

Ellie Perez: 28:30

Well, we're definitely expanded and growing. We have over a thousand five hundred folks that have signed up so far and we are creating a directory. It's going to be dedicated to safe spaces Long Beach and folks are going to be able to find all kinds of places where they can cut their hair, go shopping for plants or you want to buy candles or anything, and it'll be the folks that are going to be listed on. There are folks that are part of the Safe Spaces Alliance are showing the sticker, but not only that. It's going to be one of the best things that folks can find so that they don't go through what I went through with my son and trying to find an appropriate therapist that was inclusive. So more to come, for sure.

Rita Gonzales: 29:11

Okay, well, we're going to have you back on and talk about future things. Let's do it, why not? Okay, well, thank you. Thank you so much.

Ellie Perez: 29:16

Rita and Eduardo. I appreciate you both Thank you. Thank you for the awesome work you're doing.

Eduardo Archuleta: 29:21

This has been Eduardo Chuleta.

Rita Gonzales: 29:23

And Rita Gonzalez. Our guest has been Ellie Perez, who is the Interim Executive Director at the Long Beach LGBTQ Center.

Eduardo Archuleta: 29:32

Thank you for listening.

Rita Gonzales: 29:34

You've been listening to Radio Q GLLU on "the out genda" and we want to hear from you. Like us on our Facebook page, follow us on X, formerly known as Twitter, or email us at the out agenda@ gmail. com. I'm Rita Gonzalez. Thanks for listening, and have a wonderful week, and remember that being out is the first step to being equal. Now stay tuned for "This Way Out.